My favorite passage in Scripture - mainly because of the translation issues! The question my (conservative) seminary professor asked was "Does God punish His children, or was His wrath exhausted on the cross?"
In the Hebrews 12 example, the difference in meaning is a parent slapping a kid's hand before they're able to touch a hot stove and a parent taking their kid out back for a whupping because they tried to touch a hot stove.
That opened my eyes to what you're describing as a "DEvangelical," and I found myself in an Episcopal church with a formerly conservative pastor at the helm.
This story makes me want to find your book!