…es. Thing is, that’s mostly an act, a personna I developed in response to cruel outside influences.
Being sober and clean for a little over two years now, I’m seeking the real me, the me on the inside, the me that has been buried by all of the desperate strategies for survival.... the me that I put on like a disguise, every day, for half a century.
That facade is not me. I’ve torn huge chunks of it off. If I live long enough, I’ll scrape the last…
I had a "friend and mentor" tell me "One of these days you're going to figure out who you are." That comment was ridiculous to me - I thought, "who would know me better than me?"
14 years later, I see what he was talking about. I was trying to project a person I wasn't, and the tension between my façade and my true self drove me into a pit.
I imagine you and I went through a similar process to get to a place of self-acceptance. The funny thing is, I've become more like the guy I was pretending to be simply by learning to accept and appreciate myself.
Glad you get to travel such an exciting road in life!